


Show Me How to Fight for Now

by thesafesthands



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Hair Braiding, Hair Brushing, Hair Kink, Hair-pulling, M/M, Pining, Post CATWS, Steve doesn't expect to love Bucky's long hair as much as he does
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-15 06:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2219004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesafesthands/pseuds/thesafesthands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky's getting tired of his new haircut: it's difficult to take care of, it's a pain in the ass during battle and he doesn't think it's flattering on him anyway. But cutting Bucky's hair is not an option for Steve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Show Me How to Fight for Now

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KingdomOfIsolation](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingdomOfIsolation/gifts).



> Title's from JT's _Mirrors_. For no other reason than I love Boyce Avenue's cover of that song and you can never be wrong by naming a fic with lyrics.

Bucky comes out of the shower, a fluffy white towel the only thing covering his modesty but what immediately catches Steve's eye is Bucky's hair, though. After sitting beside him for hours in Stark's lab while his arm was being examined, Steve's had plenty of occasions to see the other man naked from the waist up, so it's not as overwhelming as it used to be. But the long hair Steve has always assimilated to the Winter Soldier and has constantly been filthy and sticking to Bucky's skull is now freshly dried and clean, and the strands of rich dark brown falling to his chin suit him more than any other haircut he's ever had. It surprises Steve, because right now he's unable to see the Winter Soldier. All he sees is Bucky, and he is drop-dead _gorgeous_.

"I want you to cut my hair," Bucky says, pushing a stray strand back as he looks at Steve expectantly.

Steve drops his book down on the coffee table without thinking, and startles a bit at the sound. Bucky's eyebrows shoot up, probably wondering why he's suddenly so jumpy but Steve only mumbles a quick apology and stands up, following Bucky back into the bathroom. He grabs a chair on his way and once inside, puts it in front of the sink so that Bucky can supervise him while he's cutting his hair.

After Bucky's sat down, Steve comes to stand behind him and looks down at the top of the other man's head. He smells so good, Steve wants to lean in and bury his nose in the dark chocolate waves and fill his senses until he was intoxicated with _Bucky_.

Tentatively at first, Steve runs his fingers through his friend's hair, spreading his fingers and dragging them down to make sure it's all even everywhere.

It's so soft, exactly like it used to be before the war when Bucky needed a haircut and they didn't have the money to spare so Steve would be the one cutting it for him. But it's never been  _that_ long, Bucky wouldn't have allowed it to grow any longer than what was fashionable for that time, and Steve has never been able to really get a good  _grab_ at it, like he's doing right now.

Realizing suddenly that his fingers are still brushing Bucky's hair, Steve looks down to see that Bucky's head is tilted to the side and that he's got fistfulls of hair in both hands. He's been unconsciously pulling a Bucky's hair and feeling it up like some sort of psychopath. Feeling extremely embarrassed, more so because Bucky hasn't complained once during this, Steve quickly pulls his hands back and grabs the scissors from the sink. He avoids meeting Bucky's eyes in the mirror, because he's afraid of what he'll see.

"Uh, sorry."

Steve is planning on confessing his love for his best friend very soon. He really does. He rarely listens to Tony's advices but he'll follow this one, because Tony is right. He can't keep this to himself, not after everything that's happened. Bucky deserves to know the truth.

But he sure as hell doesn't want Bucky to discover it like _this_ , and maybe end up thinking Steve's just got this big, unhealthy obsession with Bucky's hair. Which he doesn't.

He just didn't expect to love Bucky's long hair that much. It feels like there's suddenly  _more_ Bucky to love. This new haircut, along with the metal arm and all of Bucky's new maneurisms and rituals and this new way he speaks with lots of foreign words and idioms are all something new to discover and fall in love with.

Steve can't help it, he loves everything that's got anything to do with Bucky Barnes.

Even after decades of mind control and assassinations, Steve still doesn't have trouble bringing the old Bucky back to the surface. Only a few weeks after moving in the Tower, he's been able to pull his friend out of the cage where he's been locked away against his will in his own mind, and things have been  _almost_ back to normal. Most of the times, Steve is  _almost_ able to forget they're not still the same silly Brooklyn boys who knew nothing about war.

"What are you sorry for?"

Bucky's tone is teasing, but he sounds like his mind is already somewhere else so Steve doesn't even try to come up with a decent reply.

He smoothes Bucky's hair a little bit more and finally meets the other man's gaze in the mirror, watching Bucky watch his face too, while he should be looking at what Steve's doing with his hair instead.

"Why do you—", Steve swallows loudly under Bucky's unblinking stare, too self-conscious and still too embarrassed to control his blushing "—why do you want to cut it?" he finally says, and he's glad his voice isn't shaking and comes out sounding genuinely interested, not sad or disappointed. Which is how Steve really feels.

"I don't know. It's not like I miss the military cut, I just... doesn't it remind you too much of the other me? The Winter Soldier?"

He looks contrite in the mirror, as if he's sorry about bringing up the subject of the Winter Soldier.

Steve considers it for a moment, fingers of one hand finding their way back into Bucky's soft hair.

"If you ask me, I think the arm is already a pretty good reminder, Buck."

Steve looks in the mirror to gauge Bucky's reaction, and notices the way Bucky winces and starts taking his left arm off the sink where it was previously resting. Steve is faster, reluctantly leaving Bucky's head to grab the wrist of his metal arm.

"Hey, hey now, I never said—listen, the clothes don't make the man, remember? Because you look like him doesn't mean you're  _still_ him. You're Bucky Barnes, my best friend, not some mindless weapon. And I gotta say," he adds with a soft smile, "I like your hair this way."

"Really?" Bucky sounds disbelieving, but when he pushes Steve's hand away he doesn't try to hide his prosthesis again. "But when I'm fighting, it kind of gets in my eyes all the damn time, it's seriously annoying. I think HYDRA kept it that way to conceal my face, mostly, but I remember that even the Winter Soldier hated it. A thing we both agreed on, at least."

"How about I convince you to keep it?" The words are out before Steve can stop them, and he starts to panic because he doesn't even know what he means by that, or how he could convince Bucky without telling him that he just finds Bucky incredibly attractive this way and wishes he could spend the rest of his life with his fingers in his hair.

But now it's too late to backtrack without it looking suspicious, or make Steve more nervous and flustered than he already is so he keeps silent and waits, scissors still in one hand, the other hovering on Bucky's other side.

"It's a deal," Bucky gives in with a sigh and a shrug.

"OK," Steve's smile threatens to turn into delighted laughter, especially with Bucky's reflection pouting at him, and he has to bite on his lip to control himself. "I will just take care of your split ends, then."

"I don't have split ends."

"Oooh _yes_ , you do. The HYDRA agents were no hairdressers, Buck. Your hair is a _mess_."

Bucky grumbles something that sounds like Russian but stays still and lets Steve get to work.

 

* * *

 

_LATER_

Bucky comes into Steve's room without knocking and almost catches a glimpse of what Steve's drawing cross-legged on his bed. Steve's too fast for him, though, and he quickly shuts his sketchbook and sits up straighter, obviously trying to look casual and unperturbed but Bucky knows better. He can see that Steve is uncomfortable in the way his hands are twitching, and there is a flush creeping up his throat and slowly spreading to his cheeks. It's absolutely adorable on a big man like Steve, and it has Bucky wondering what's in that sketchbook. He remembers this happening quite often when Steve was skinnier, and how Steve would show him most of his drawings but still keep some of his sketchbooks from Bucky, refusing to let him see what's hidden inside the confines of Steve's mind. Bucky's always assumed it's drawings that Steve's failed, but why would it make Steve blush whenever Bucky would ask about them?

And why is he blushing now?

"Yes?" Steve prompts, and Bucky suddenly remembers why he's come here in the first place.

"It's not working. I can't stand this," he gestures furiously to his own hair like it's something alien and yanks at it for good measure, "if I have to fight like this one more time it's gonna get me killed."

Even from across the room he notices the way Steve's shudders, and he quickly amends for being so blunt. "I mean, I don't remember how the Winter Soldier used to do it, but  _I_ can't. Please, will you cut it now?"

Steve doesn't get that pissed off little look he gets when he loses an argument against Bucky (he's always been a sore loser even if he's been hiding it well since he became Captain America), which is a bad sign. Instead he stands up, leaving the sketchbook on his nightstand, and he's got that aura of determination that means nothing will be able to sway him and well,  _fuck_ , Bucky knows he won't get what he wants this time either. Why the hell can he only trust Steve with a pair of scissors, it's really his luck!

"Come with me, I got an idea."

"Yeah, sure, does it involve cutting my hair?" Bucky whines, just because he can.

He follows Steve until they reach Stark's swimming pool, which is located on the Tower's rooftop, of all places. Bucky likes this future, with swimming pools on rooftops and all of Howard's son's gadgets that've helped improve Bucky's metal arm more than seventy years in the hands of so-called scientific masterminds. There are Sam and Darcy in deep conversation on one end of the pool, Jane and Thor are chasing each other in a splash of water and delighted cries in the middle, and Natasha is taking a sun bath in one of the loungers. Clint and Bucky have just come home from a special assignement on the other side of the continent, and the former is still busy resting in his room to be able to join the others. As for Stark, he's probably holed up with Banner in the lab again.

Bucky doesn't understand what they're doing here, and he's about to ask Steve when he notices that Steve's left his side and is already crouching beside Natasha and talking to her.

When Bucky approaches, he sees her push her sunglasses up on her head and give Steve one of her patented smirks. All Bucky remembers from her is a little girl with fiery red hair that he was supposed to train, and then kill when she wasn't useful anymore. He sure doesn't remember ever seeing her smile like this. He still can't believe both of their luck for escaping their tormentors.

"—asking himself?"

"I don't think he's ever thought about it, to be honest. But I'm sure it's the perfect solution to his problem. Ah, Buck, I was asking Natasha if she could maybe teach you how to tie your hair. This way it won't get in your way anymore."

Steve is like an earnest puppy when he looks up at him but Bucky can't help feeling like he's being mocked, and he hates it.

"What? I'm not gonna go around wearing a  _ponytail_ like—"

"Like?" Natasha prompts, and there's murder in her tone.

Bucky stumbles and tries to come up with something for a moment before giving up. "Everything I'm gonna say is gonna come out wrong, isn't it?"

Natasha only smiles sweetly at him, and it's even scarier than when she's frowning.

" _Alright!_ But I can tie my own hair, I don't need you." He points at both of them before taking the rubber band Natasha hands out for him.

He's never done this before, though, and even if it does look simple, it doesn't really feel that way once he's stuck with his hair becoming a bunch of knots around the rubber band. Bucky lets out a frustrated snarl and tries tearing it off his hair at last, but it hurts like a bitch and it feels like he's trying to rip his scalp off in the process.

With a defeated grunt, he drops on his knees and turns around and Natasha takes it as her cue to help him untie the evil thing from his hair.

Then she proceeds to show him how to do it properly, first slowly tying her own hair and letting him watch, and then doing it for himself. Bucky doesn't like how it feels when all his hair is pulled back and tied in a tight knot, but it's one of those discomforts that feel like it'll fade with the force of habit. And when he stands up and tries a few fighting stances and mimicks giving a punch, he likes the senstation of the ponytail moving on the back of his head but without getting into his face. For the first time in years, he can see  _clearly_  without anything obscuring his view and it's feels amazing.

"You know, you could just spare yourself all this trouble and cut it."

Bucky looks back at Natasha and then at Steve, a bit perplexed, but Steve is actively avoiding his eyes.

So Steve hasn't told Natasha that  _he_  is the one refusing to let Bucky have it cut and done with. Strange. Bucky just shrugs as he meets Natasha's amused gaze next, knowing he can't rat his friend out even if he's curious to hear what explanation Steve would give her.

"I guess I've grown attached to it."

Natasha smirks, as if she's not completely buying it.

"Thanks, Nat," Steve says, "Hey, would you mind showing me how to do that, too? If Bucky ever needs someone else to do it for him, if he's busy or injuried or whatever. I feel like I'd like to be able to help."

Both Bucky and Natasha are surprised to hear Steve's quiet request, but then Natasha is shrugging and untying and tying her hair again, going through the same explanations with him, and then she's giving Steve her own rubber band and waiting for him to do her hair. It makes Bucky suddenly nervous and angry, for some reason he doesn't want to dwell to much on, and before he can't stop himself he's sitting in front of Steve like a very possessive dog claiming ownership of the spot at Steve's feet, and he feels like an idiot but he can't stop himself.

"Stevie, why don't you try on mine, instead? I mean, it's my hair you're doing this for, right?"

There's a blank between the trio, and all they can hear for a moment is the voices of the others around them. Then Bucky suddenly feels Steve's fingers brushing his hair and it feels just as good as it did a week ago, in the bathroom he and Steve have to share.

It doesn't go as smoothly as it was with Natasha doing it, but it still feels ten times better because it's Steve's hands on him and it means that Steve  _cares_ , and is taking  _care_ of Bucky because he wants it, not because Bucky's asked him to. By the time his hair is tied up in a ponytail again, Bucky feels like letting his head lol back against Steve's chest and _purring_.

"All done," Steve eventually says, and his voice sounds hoarser than before.

When Bucky hears Natasha's quiet laugh, he turns to shoot her a murderous glare but she's already rolled on her side with her back to them, sunglasses back on her nose.

 

* * *

 

 

_LATERER_

The next time Bucky tries to get Steve to cut it for him, he complains abundantly about how it's impossible to brush it in the morning because it's so much longer than before it keeps getting all tangled and he doesn't have the patience for this bullshit.

Steve watches Bucky struggle every morning when he comes out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel again ( _he's not doing it on purpose, Rogers, get your mind out of the gutter!_ ) and his brush stuck in his hair like it's glued there, and he bears with it for the next three days, sure that if he suggests Bucky what he'd burning to suggest, he'll only succeed in exposing his true feelings for his best friend.

But after three days of constant whining and Bucky threatening him to ask JARVIS to cut his hair instead if Steve isn't willing to put an end to his misery, Steve decides to give it a try and the next morning, he offers Bucky to brush it for him.

Bucky is sitting at the table in their common living room, brushing his hair with such violence Steve is surprised he hasn't started sporting any bald spots yet. Bucky doesn't even seem shocked by Steve's suggestion, though, and merely holds up his brush with a grunt.

Steve takes the brush and with patience and care, he untangles the dark brown bird's nest that's become Bucky's hair and if his fingers linger a little too long in Bucky's soft waves, neither of them says anything about it so it's perfectly alright.

From that day on, Steve always brushes Bucky hair early in the morning and right before they part ways at night and go into their respective rooms.

 

* * *

 

  _LATERERER_

It's well past midnight when Bucky shows up at Steve's door, all his hair tied in tiny braids and Steve who's about to take his shirt off can't help freezing when he catches sight of his friend.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I look ridiculous. Steve, please, you  _have_ to cut it or Darcy's gonna keep doing this."

"What, braiding your hair? Well, make her stop. She's smaller than you, Buck."

"Do you even _know_ Darcy?" Bucky asks, and it almost sounds dangerous.

Steve can't help laughing when Bucky's braids sway a bit in his agitation. He looks ridiculously attractive even when he shouldn't, and really it's almost _unfair_. Steve vows to himself to be there the next time Darcy has cornered Bucky for another braiding session, and he'll make sure to learn from her how to do that too.

"Oh, come on, you look _lovely_."

Bucky's lips curl up into a tight smile, and he looks away and Steve's got the feeling that Bucky thinks he's making fun of him. As if he doesn't believe he's still as  _dashing_  as he used to be, if not more. It makes Steve's heart ache that nobody's told Bucky how wrong he is to doubt himself like that.

"I-I mean it, Bucky. I think you're beautiful. Well, you obviously always were but I've never found you more beautiful than right now, and I love the new you. I love—" Steve's voice cracks a bit, and he's thankful for the darkness in his room and the light in the hallway behind Bucky that's making Bucky's face impossible to read from where Steve is standing. "—everything about you. Kind of... always have."

With the words finally said, Steve can finally breathe more serenly, knowing that  _finally_ , he's been able to confess to his best friend. He knows Bucky won't ever abandon him for something like this, but he still hopes it won't change anything between them, even though he knows it's bound to happen. He's already mourning the daily brushing of Bucky's hair, knowing that he'll probably never be left anywhere near Bucky's hair anymore.

Steve then readies himself for the inevitable fallout. He expects an awkward clearing of throat, a nervous laugh or maybe some crude joke, Bucky isn't above that and to be honest, Steve isn't either, but what he gets instead is Bucky silently walking up to him before kissing him within an inch of his life. Steve's hands immediately shoot up as if on auto-pilot and he gets hold of the little braids, pulling the smaller man closer and tilting Bucky's head a bit higher until the angle of their kiss is just _perfect_. When they manage to take a break between kisses for air, Steve thinks he hears Bucky mumble something about Steve being a punk and also complaining that it took them too long but then his fingers tighten in Bucky's hair and Bucky's attacking him with his mouth all over again.

 

* * *

 

 Much later, after unbraiding the bigger part of Bucky's hair while Bucky makes the most obscene sounds of relief, Steve shows Bucky another advantage of having long hair, and Bucky discovers he's addicted to the sensation of Steve pulling on it while he's moaning above him.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for [helovessowholly](http://helovessowholly.tumblr.com) (aka KingdomOfIsolation) because of the cute [text post](http://helovessowholly.tumblr.com/post/96017890723/steve-doesnt-expect-to-love-buckys-long-hair-as) she made on tumblr about Steve's love for Bucky's hair, and because we both love his new haircut too.
> 
> Also what Steve's been drawing is probably Bucky. Naked. And stuff. Guess we'll never know for sure.


End file.
